Balancing Perfection with Authenticity
As wanderers in a desert that see the mirage of water “just ahead,” perfectionism is the fruitless pursuit of an ideal destination that always appears just beyond reach. Battling for perfection leaves room for us to disregard other’s appreciation, discount our personal effort, and provide ourselves the excuse of why we didn’t do better (lack of time, lack of resources, lack of skill).
As a new business owner, EVERYTHING is starting from scratch. I have found myself struggling with the idea of wanting it perfect. I want things to be perfect prior to rolling them out. I want the website to be perfect before launching. I want my workbooks to be perfect before going to print (even in small batches). I want the brand to be finalized, and the fonts to be installed, and the notecards ordered, and the return address labels printed, and my philosophy landed, and… [the list goes on] before I start. I want that first impression I make to be the same impression I make in a year and in ten years. I don’t want it to be messy and I don’t want it to change. I want it to be perfect - consistent, stable, and well thought out. But that is not how reality works. I could spend the next five years getting it ready - getting it perfect- and there will still be an opportunity to make it better.
What I need to recognize is the value in adding authenticity to that desired perfection.
Recognizing my instagram photos will not all be professional shots, my blogs will inevitably contain an occasional spelling mistake, and the proposal I send to clients will look different today then 6 months from now, is terrifying. And with that recognition, I have a choice. I have a choice to not act because it will not be perfect or to act in spite of it not being perfect. And for me, that authenticity is courageous.
Authenticity is scary because it is about showing up and being seen. Yet, if I constantly hide that authenticity in the hopes others will see Kadima Leadership as the “perfect” start up, I limit the impact it will have on our world. There is nothing more authentic than the evolutions we move through as humans and being that example illuminates a founding philosophy of Kadima - moving forward is sometimes bold, sometimes shy, sometimes large, and sometimes small, but always takes courage and creates change.
We are going to move into a series on perfectionism and the challenges it creates for our development. We will look at:
-The Excuse of Natural Talent
-The Perfect Selfie
-Where We Draw the Creative Line
-Assessing Authenticity
Let’s start by examining the destruction perfectionism brings to our lives:
PERFECTIONISM...
Hides from judgement. Being perfect saves us from the criticism of others.
Limits self-worth. There is no such thing as perfect and striving for it is a constant reminder of failure.
Minimizes relationships. Aspiring perfectionists choose not to ask for help since, "if you want it done right, you have to do it yourself.”
Stifles development. Knowing there is a learning curve limits the desire to try, and possibly try poorly.
Is sugar coated with efficiency. If it’s done perfectly this time it won't have to be done again.
Increases negative self-talk. “I’m so stupid.” “I should have known better.” “I should have done better."
Diminishes confidence. When the ideal of perfection is not reached the reminder that “I’m not good enough” stays strong.
Discounts appreciation. Any positive feedback is brushed off since it should have/could have been better.
You can download “The Destruction Perfectionism Brings to our Lives” here.
