Slow Down Your Evening
I am really tight on my mornings. They seem consistent and flow best, but then again, I have always considered myself a morning person! I have the most energy, focus, and perceived control in the mornings. The day is empty... I am starting with a fresh slate and it feels like I have time to do it as I wish. They aren't always perfect, but I am typically pretty on point.
Evenings are a different story. I am TIRED by the time evenings roll around. And in the evenings time seems to speed up. In the mornings I have discipline. In the evenings I am more consumed by desire... to stare at my phone... to watch TV... to order out... to not wash the dishes.
My goal has been to get to bed by 9:30pm. Let's take a quick look at how I have been doing. Over the past ten days I have gone to bed at: 9:50 / 10:00 / 10:35 / 9:45 / 10:00 / 10:20 / 11:20 / 9:50 / 10:10 / 10:05. (I use an app called SleepWatch to track my sleep).
Ugg. Let's just say I am missing my target. So below are the few things I committing to incorporate into my evening ritual to help me reach my goal. These are things that I know contribute to an evening I control opposed to letting the evening control me.
HAVE A BEDTIME
Humans love and benefit from routine. We fight it - we try to avoid it, but when left to our own devices, we create structure in our lives. My husband had an epiphany at one point where he realized, "structure equals freedom!" He started recognizing that if he integrated the appropriate structure into his life (his days, his business, his relationships) he created the momentum he was craving. The lack of structure was creating chaos. The addition of structure was creating control.
When we have consistency in our life our bodies and our minds can be prepared for what is to come. Similarly to fat storage (if our body doesn't know when it will eat next it starts storing energy/fat for the future), our bodies want to know when we will be able to rest. Setting a bedtime gives us consistency of what to expect.
I have already told you my bedtime I have set is 9:30. Now I need to make sure I start doing the things to set me up to successfully reach that goal!
So try this (ACTION STEPS!):
-Pick a realistic bedtime.
-Share that bedtime with your partner or anyone who lives with you.
TURN OFF TECHNOLOGY
You want to get the blue light out of your face before you want to fall asleep. The blue light negatively impacts sleep and possibly "contribute to the causation of cancer, diabetes, heart disease, and obesity." Blue light is great during the day - it boosts attention, reaction times, and mood. However, in the evening those benefits are not helpful. Instead, it convinces your body it is still day and therefore interrupts your circadian rhythm.
So do yourself a favor and put your phone to bed. They even make the most ridiculous "phone beds" now. But hey, whatever helps!
Figure out what time you want to go to bed (for me, 9:30pm) and then subtract a minimum of 30 minutes. Therefore, I should be off my computer, the TV should be off (or never on), and my phone should be put to sleep by 9:00pm. I want to aim for 8:45.
If you need to be on your screen, consider investing in blue light glasses. I have a pair from Felix Gray that I use whenever I am at my computer. They also have some specifically for nighttime.
So try this (ACTION STEPS!):
-Determine a time to "put your phone to bed."
-Select a different evening activity than scrolling through social or watching TV (if you have a screen habit, you need to replace that habit with something else!).
CONTROL YOUR SPACE
Look around your space and determine what can be cleaned up. We are NOT talking about a deep clean. We are talking about a pick up to prepare your mind for sleep and to allow you to start your day with an organized space tomorrow. Load the dishwasher and turn it on. Put away shoes near the front door. Pack up your bag for the next day. Set out your workout clothes. Fold the blankets on the couch. Pick up all the dog toys (we missed one last night and I was awoken at 3am with a kong being playfully placed on my face).
Maybe you put on some gentle jazz, maybe you make it a family experience, maybe you enjoy the quiet.
My husband and I take about 5 minutes (after we finish cleaning up dinner) to complete this. And even in our crowded little rental, the space seems more settled... which in turn helps us feel more settled.
So try this (ACTION STEPS!):
-Clean up and put away any dishes so you have a fresh kitchen to work with tomorrow.
-Put everything back into it's place.
-Set a timer if you tend to get carried away!
REFLECT
We don't learn from experiences, we learn from reflecting on experiences. There is so much value in thinking about your day. Here are a few options:
-A gratitude journal
-A what-I-learned today list
-A worry book (put all your worries from today down so they are out of your head)
-Meditate
-Breathe (yes, three deep breaths can be reflective and restorative!)
You can write these things down, you can think about them while you brush your teeth, you can discuss them with someone (or your cat!). The important thing is you are processing the day and giving it a finite close.
So try this (ACTION STEPS!):
-Find a journal you love (I use a small moleskin).
-Proactively decide what you want to reflect on/document.
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Commit to building consistency in your evenings by selecting a bedtime. Enhance your sleep by turning off your technology. Calm your mind by cleaning up before bed. And take time to reflect and turn that reflection into learning.
What do you integrate into your evenings to set them up for success? Share with us below!
(Want to think through your morning? Take a look here!)
