How do You Look in the Mirror?
A 2015 UK study found that on average men looked at themselves in a mirror 23 times a day, whereas women only viewed themselves 16. In other studies, the numbers followed similar patterns although for our purposes the cadence in which any group chose to look at their reflection really isn’t as important as what they took away from each instance. It has been my experience that most people have a strong opinion of seeing their reflection. We can be our own worst critic, and, in many cases, it seems people avoid thoroughly gazing into a mirror for fear of what they may see, while others enjoy the vanity of the experience. In either instance, mirrors often evoke a negative emotion.
But what if we changed how we saw our reflection?
Looking towards a mirror can either be active or passive experience. In fact, I would argue that the mere phrasing might shed some light into how you as an individual experience these moments. For example, looking at a mirror indicates a more passive approach, while looking into a mirror is more active. Far too often, we look at the mirror, judge what we see and move on disappointed or at best misunderstanding what we just saw. This passive approach stymies our ability to see reality and can lead to a complete avoidance of what we truly see. The ostrich with its head in the sand metaphor comes to mind.
Think about it - we look at the mirror, don’t like what we see, and begin to find ways not to be near a mirror. This avoidance limits our ability to receive valuable feedback that can help positively impact our behaviors, confidence, relationships, and even prosperity. If we don’t know the truth about our appearance, we can’t make meaningful change to get fit, remove the lettuce from our teeth, or match our clothes for a date or business meeting.
The reflection we see in the mirror matters because it is feedback that can help or hurt the way we view the word, which in turn impacts how others perceive us and interact with us. We should be aware of how important the subtle experience in front of a mirror can influence us and take this awareness to see where else reflections can help us in our daily lives.
At Kadima we work with our clients to practice reflection, not necessarily in the mirror, but in their behaviors, decisions, relationships, and goals.
Imagine if 16 to 23 times a day you took a moment stood in front of the “mirror” and actively processed or reflected on the interactions you just had or will have with a coworker or your spouse. What would happen if the during your daily flow you didn’t avoid the feedback you know existed in the ether of your world and stood tall and intentionally processed how you could tweak different moments to improve the reflection you were experiencing?
