Set Realistic Expectations for Yourself in the New Year
How often do we fill up our to do lists, adding everything that needs to get done and then feel disappointed at the end of the day when it is not all checked off?
I cannot tell you how many people I hear talk about how frustrated they are that they didn't get "everything done today." And, sadly, I am often one of them. I constantly set myself up for failure… or possibly have an unrealistic view of what I can accomplish every day. When I look at tomorrow I think: “Tomorrow I will be so focused and motivated I will knock out everything on this list quickly!” However, when tomorrow comes, tasks take longer than expected, a dog needs to go to the vet, a fire pops up that needs to be taken care of, etc. Then we are back to square one - thinking that tomorrow will be the day I reconquer my life!
This unrealistic expectation of tomorrow sets us up for failure.
THE CHALLENGE WITH SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR FAILURE
You do not acknowledge your progress. Ok, so you didn't get everything on your list done. I am, however, going to assume you did get somethingon your list done. And maybe that thing was big. Maybe it was necessary. Maybe it will be the linchpin in forward progress. But if we only focus on what we didn't do, we take away the intrinsic reward of what we did accomplish.
You demotivate yourself. When your to-do list is unrealistically long, you are always at the base of the mountain looking at the huge climb in front of you. After working a full day and still seeing a mountain in front of you, you start to ask yourself, “why do I even bother,” which is quite demotivating.
You prioritize efficiency over effectiveness. There are times when something takes longer than you expect it should. Typically, in those moments you have a choice between efficiency and effectiveness. Often, efficiency is associated with tasks: it is efficient to send an email telling people to provide feedback on the attached. However, it is not necessarily the most effective choice. The most effective choice may be to pick up the phone and let someone know you are interested in their feedback on something, explain the why for the project and the impact it will have, and walk them through the process thus far. It takes longer, but will often generate the result you are looking for.
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If our goal is to always be moving ourselves forward, then let’s set ourselves up for success. Let’s stop telling ourselves what a failure we are and start recognizing the progress we have made.
“What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine, you create.” -Buddha
If we always tell ourselves we failed and we didn’t do enough, we will start to believe we are not enough.
HOW TO SET YOURSELF UP FOR REALISTIC SUCCESS
Write it down. So much of the time we swear we will remember what needs to be done but there is truly only so much capacity in our brains. I had a professor in college who used to say he would never test us on facts (What year did so-and-so discover x?) since we will always have access to those facts. He would, however, test us on application - did we understand how to use what we have learned. I always appreciated his philosophy. It allowed me to focus on the use opposed to the traditional index-card-memorization-until-the-test-was-over technique. Do the same thing for your brain. If you need to do it, write it down. This allows you to use your mental capacity to actually do it, not try to remember everything that needs to be done.
Put first things first. Stephen Covey says it best:
“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage - pleasantly, smilingly, non apologetically - to say “no” to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger “yes” burning inside of you.”
If you do not know what matters, it becomes quite hard to figure out what to prioritize. In order to designate priority, you can put a symbol next to the priority item on your to-do-list or you can list an A, B, or C next to each item to designate priority. Sometimes I will write my most important tasks for the day on a bright sticky note (even though they are already in my planner) so so they stay top of mind. I often talk with clients who are frustrated their people aren’t getting the “important” stuff done. When I talk with their people they are frustrated that their boss doesn’t recognize all the progress they have made. There are two major challenges in these situations:
1 - the boss has not clearly communicated the priorities to their team
2 - the team hasn’t asked for clarification on the priorities or confirmed if their understanding is correct.
If your priorities do not align with your supervisors’ or organization’s priorities, you are working on the wrong thing. That doesn’t mean you don’t get a say in the process. It is your responsibility to help your boss and/or organization understand your perspective, yet, being clear about who gets the final say is important.
Plan your week. Understanding your commitments over the span of a few days allows you to realistically decide when to fit in your priorities. If you have a report due on Thursday, but Wednesday is back-to-back meetings, you may need to plan to finish that report Tuesday. If you you have family in town all weekend, it may not be realistic to think you can take 4 hours to work on Saturday or Sunday. A benefit of using a planner with daily task lists allows you to place tasks that need to be accomplished on the days they need to be worked on or completed. It is no use putting “submit elevation plan” on your to-do-list for Monday if you know you are in a full day charrette. Looking at your week allows you to make informed choices about whenyou spend you your time on what.
Remember your restorative pauses. Just because you start work at 8 and finish at 5 doesn’t mean you are working straight from 8 to 5. Remember you need a few breaks in there - to grab a cup of coffee, to pee, to stand up and walk around. Daniel Pink dives into the research of breaks in When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing where he talks about the positive impact a real break (not on your phone) can have on your productivity. You cannot schedule 540 minutes of work (which equals 9 hours) each day you work from 8-5. You already know you will have to run to the restroom. You already know you will take a moment to eat your lunch. It is impossible for you to get 12 actual hours of work done in a 9-hour day. Or even a 10-hour day. Or even a 12-hour day. Don’t set yourself up to be disappointed.
Decide on perfect vs. completed. On each item you are putting on your to-do-list, identify if the task needs to be completed perfectly, or just completed. For example, did your boss ask you for a budget status on your current project or did your boss ask you for a printable report with graphics, an updated project timeline, photos, and budget? A budget status can be sent in a quick email, “Below you will see the line items with the actual vs. budget figures for project x. As you can see, we are on budget!” The latter is an entirely different story. One takes 5 minutes of pulling data, the other could take two days and design effort. I will be the first to agree that it would be great to be able to send off a beautifully designed update, but we have to ask our selves if it is that what is needed. Often, we invest time into a task that doesn’t warrant the time we give it. That valuable time could be spent on another task, which gives us satisfaction and pride in what we have accomplished.
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We are kicking off 2020 with high hopes - new beginnings do this to us. Social scientists have started calling these “temporal landmarks.” These landmarks “induce people to take a big-picture view of their lives, and thus motivate aspirational behaviors.” Don’t let your fresh start of the year be just aspirational. This is your opportunity to figure out what you need to do to maximize this temporal landmark. Research shows that by the end of January, only two thirds of us are still working towards our resolutions. By June, less that half are still putting any effort into their resolution. And at the end of the year, only 8% of people are actually successful at achieving their resolutions. ONLY 8%!
It makes sense - life gets in the way and those aspirational dreams of a fresh new year are drowned by the realization that January 15 feels a whole lot like every other day of last year. It is 100% up to you to not let that be true. Set realistic expectations for yourself and watch your 2020 be your best year yet!
