The Three Biggest Obstacles to Opening Our Mind

Our desire to share our perspective. 

I can't be the only one who has done it. Someone is sharing their story, their perspective, or their idea and instead of listening, I am waiting for a pause or the end of their sentence so I can jump in and share my story, perspective, or idea. 

It is the same thing we used to do in middle school when teachers would have us read one paragraph at a time. Instead of listening and learning anything that anyone is saying, we quickly count what paragraph we are going to read, then make sure we know how to say all the words and then wait until it is our turn. 

This is not an effective way to learn or develop relationships. This behavior stunts our growth mindset and keeps us fixed on our own personal experience. 

Thinking that change should be comfortable.

Zach (my husband) and I are on a new health journey. We are working with a functional medicine practice and they have shifted our diet for 30 days (he has restrictions, I am charged with eating more than I ever have in my life!). Day two of this new lifestyle month, and 40 minutes into eating my forth meal of the day (around 1pm, mind you), I looked at Zach and muttered, "I am so full. This is so hard. I don't think I can do this." He reminded me that we didn't make this decision because it was easy or comfortable. We made this decision because we belief it will positively impact our life - our energy level, our longevity, our health, our spirit. 

The same is true with our gym routine. We wake up at 5:00am (ok... we wake up at 5:02am - and those two extra minutes are lovely!) every day in order to get to our workout class at 5:30. And every morning one of us says, "I would love to sleep in!" The other one agrees and then we get up and get going. It isn't comfortable to get up at 5:00am. It isn't easy. But we aren't doing it because it is comfortable or easy. We are doing it because it aligns with our long term goals. 

If we waited until change was comfortable or easy... we would never push ourselves to change. 

Our belief that asking questions compromises our stance. 

Asking questions is the most valuable component of expressing open mindedness. Yet, we often think that engaging in a conversation with someone who has an alternate viewpoint or opinion and NOT shoving our opinion down their throat means we are wavering on our perspective. We somehow got it in our head that if we allow someone else to share their side we have compromised our stance. 

We have to shift this mindset. We want to be able to engage in a conversation where we learn how to see it from someone else's' perspective and seeing something from that alternate perspective does not have to shift anything for you... however, it might! That is how we learn and grow! 

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As you work to engage with the world with a more open mind, remember:

-Seek first to understand before you work to be understood.
-Change in any capacity can be hard and uncomfortable - you have to figure out if it is worthwhile.
-Asking questions expands our perspective and provides us with options.